My name is Jessica, I am 29 years old, and I did not own lingerie or actual pajamas.  A few weeks ago a friend told me with extreme judgement and a dash of disappointment that this makes me weird.  Before you join said friend in judgment, hear me out.  I don’t know if you’ve gathered as much from my site, but I don’t get enough action to have need of lingerie.  My phone gets less play than a Tyga album, so who the hell am I wearing it for?!  Also, my bra size is rather uncommon, so even the most basic of bras cost a ridiculous amount of money.  So you see why I am not sold on the idea of buying bras for leisure, which would cost even more (we’re talking triple digits boo).  Lastly, what are all of my random t-shirts collected over the years for if not for me to lounge around and sleep in them?

So I asked some single female friends who also get little to no action what their lingerie collection is looking like, and they too judged me.  I also asked some friends who are married, or are soon to be married, and we all agreed a grown ass woman should have what I am calling a “private wardrobe.” As of late, I’ve been adding to this wardrobe, so let me give you some tips on how and where to start.

Buy black and start simple.  If you are on a budget, pretending to be on a budget, trying to start budgeting, whatever just buy black matching sets of bras and panties.  They will always match, because they’re black, and they will go under most of your clothes.  This way if Kofi Siriboe pulls up on you and swears his undying love for you, you’ll still be prepared.  But in a much more real sense, if you never meet him, you still have underwear you need. Simple accents like lace, satin, and mesh add to the sexy factor for these pieces, and choose cuts of bras that work for fashion and function.  Example, it would serve no purpose for me to get a bra with a lot of color, detailing and accents on it, because I likely wouldn’t be able to wear that under my clothes.

For every bra you own, you should have three pairs of underwear to match them.  That’s part of the reason why there are always those 3 for whatever deals.  You should ideally have one thong, one boyshort, and one brief to go with every bra you own (or three of whatever is most comfy for you boo boo).  God willing you wash your underwear more than your bras, so this way you always match.

Cute loungewear is a must.  Say you are having a new boo come over just to chill (and only after he has taken you out, because chilling in the house is not a date) and you don’t want to look pressed, but you also don’t want to look like you’re begging for change.  This is where your cute loungewear comes in.  I am obsessed with pajama onesies/rompers.  They are my go to choice these days for chilling in the house.  I enjoy a great pair of sweats as well, but choose some that accentuate your best features, and are still comfy.  For example, if you have muffin tops you probably shouldn’t wear sweatpants that sit low on your waist and make you look like a roast that’s been tied for the oven.  If you have nice boobs, get a tank with a low neckline in a super soft fabric.  If you love your legs, get cute, comfy house shorts.  The more confident you feel showing off your best assets, the sexier you will come across.  But leave something to the imagination.  If nothing else in your life fits and compliments you, your loungewear should.  You deserve to be cute and comfy in your own damn house girl.

Have a chat.  If you don’t know what kind of lingerie your significant other finds appealing, then this is a good time to ask.  But this shouldn’t be all about him.  You have to find things that you both like, because if you’re not actually comfortable in what he likes, then you’re gonna feel like an idiot wearing it, and that will kill the mood for you.  Be open minded, but don’t sign up to wear a bondage outfit if you have issues with authority.  Make sense?  Example, I find those babydoll sets to be appalling.  They do nothing for my body at all.  If I met a guy who was into those, we would have to come to some manner of compromise on that, because I’m sure it would ruin the night if I emerge in the doorway looking pregnant.  He’d probably be confused.  You know your body, you know what you look good in, so browse some options that you would be into, and present those ideas as well.  Also, dudes are not complicated people when it comes to this, they’ll probably be happy either way really.

Wear heels.  But only if you can actually walk in them, and only if they genuinely make you feel sexy.  Heels make everything look good in my opinion, and this is especially true for lingerie.  It’s a great way to create a fantasy for bae.  Even if you are wearing a basic matching bra and panty set, add some heels, and see the difference it makes.

If you are single like me.  Wait.  Let’s stop here.  I promise you I am more single than anyone in the history of life has ever been, so please trust me on this.  DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT go and buy a whole bunch of non functional lingerie.  That shit will sit in a drawer that you will be sad to open knowing you don’t have anyone to wear it for.  Get one or two pieces for just in case Trevante Rhodes wants to slide through, but don’t overdue it.

Go cheap on the non functional lingerie.  Lingerie has a very brief….shelf life?  It’s there and then hopefully (if you do it right) it’s gone pretty fast.  It may even get ripped off (cough, cough) so don’t go crazy trying to buy name brand stuff.  Literally no one cares, and if he complains that it’s not La Perla, then politely tell him he can buy it.  Anyone who would complain about the brand of lingerie you’re wearing is probably someone you shouldn’t be wearing it for.

Get a sexy robe.  If you have a banging ass body (in your opinion and according to your standards boo boo) just wear a robe with nothing under it, and heels.  Boom.  Super easy way out, or in?