I love pantsuits!  I mean I really love them. We all know that dudes in suits are painfully appealing, but there’s also something incredibly alluring about a woman who can pull off a suit as well.  So why haven’t I ever worn one before?  I have been threatening to wear a sexy tuxedo to do literally anything for at least ten years, and never made it happen.  For one thing, I didn’t have anywhere particularly exciting to go that would justify the financial investment in such a look.  I’d love to be overdressed every day for no reason, but I just don’t have the lifestyle…yet.  The second reason is that my boobs were just way too big to execute the styling how I saw it in my head.  I couldn’t really fulfill my vision standing at 5’2 wearing an H cup.  

So thanks to a lot of back pain, great health insurance, and a spectacular surgeon, one of my many fashion fantasies have come true.  In November I got a breast reduction (more on that later) which allowed me to finally wear a suit in one of the many ways I’ve always wanted to.

My obsession with suits began in 2009 when I became a student of fashion, and learned about the Yves Saint Laurent Le Smoking Suit.  This iconic tuxedo style suit was designed by the late designer for women in 1966, a time when a woman wearing pants was gasp-inducing.  I was drawn not only to the clean lines, styling, and photography but also to the rebellious spirit of the design.  

Photo: Pinterest

The Le Smoking Suit encapsulated so much about the woman I’ve always wanted to be, that I’m slowly becoming. Effortlessly sexy, classic, powerful, smart, confident, brave, rebellious, and wealthy.  I now feel a lot more like that woman, as the decision to get a breast reduction was the first (of many more) decisions I made solely trusting in myself and knowing what I truly wanted.  I was definitely nervous about “losing” something that had been a huge part of my identity for so long but after spending three weeks healing, mostly alone, I felt new in the best way.  I felt brave and powerful, and in touch with my body in a way that I wasn’t before.  So you can imagine why I was inspired to wear a suit in my favorite color (the girliest of colors) for the shoot to celebrate this new chapter in my life.    

When I started planning my look, I was almost overwhelmed by how many fashion choices were available since I didn’t have to worry about what my breasts would fit into.  I spotted this suit in Macy’s and immediately fell in love with the color and fit. Coincidentally when I was in fifth grade I had a pink satin Guess coordinating skirt set, so I imagine on some level I saw this as the adult version of what was one of my favorite outfits as a kid.  That’s what shopping is supposed to be from my perspective. You should only buy clothes that you love, that evoke an emotion, or even a memory. That’s why I don’t care much for online shopping unless it’s absolutely necessary.  I like the drama of shopping irl. I’d had a great suit in my heart and in my mind for so long, that when I spotted this suit in the Vince Camuto section (a designer most of us think of as being for our mothers or grandmothers) it jumped out at me clear as day.

The lesson in that (there’s always a lesson in fashion) is that it is deeply important to know yourself, to know what you truly desire, and why.  Knowledge of self is where true style originates.  It’s where true happiness and fulfillment originate.  With that knowledge, your desires are made so clear to you, even in the most unexpected of places.