Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your dreams?  Not the dreams you have during your sleep that freak you out when all of your teeth fall out, but your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.  I wake up a lot of nights feeling overwhelmed by how big my dreams are, because it is so hard for me to fathom that they can come true.  And I have this fear that if they don’t I will be in a constant state of never ending restlessness.  I wake up out of my sleep in the wee hours of the morning hungry to make the right move to get me one step closer.  The worse is scrolling through Instagram looking for inspiration and seeing so many people living the life I want to live for myself.  Not that I want anyone else’s life.  I just have this burning desire to make mine so much greater than what it is now, and that desire sometimes consumes me.

We live in this age where people are always trying to motivate you to just follow your dreams.  These quotes are everywhere you turn.  “Go out and do it,” they say, completely unaware of how much it takes to do so.  Dreams take money, and when you don’t come from a family that can fund them for you, it makes your road to success that much more bumpy.  I welcome the bumps, don’t get me wrong.  I want to be able to say that I made it without having anything just handed to me, but some days I yearn for a little bit of ease.  When every dollar you get automatically belongs to someone else, it gets harder and harder to see your goals come to fruition.  It’s like a dark cloud looming over your head.

I start a new job in a few days, and I’m so thankful for the opportunity, but all I can think is this still isn’t enough.  When will I find that opportunity that will be?  It seems so simple.  All I want to do is talk and write about fashion and life with great people, and be impeccably dressed while doing so.  I guess I shouldn’t trouble myself with how God is going to work things out for me.  I can only trust that He will.  This is just one of the many nights that I can’t sleep trying to figure out what my next move should be.

I would never label myself as a sneaker head.  I can’t handle the pressure and scrutiny from the vets in the game.  You know the people on Instagram that post pictures of sneakers with the “I been on this” captions?  To which I say: effin relax.  You’re not the first, last, or only person to wear any one pair of sneakers, but I digress.  I have been really into metallic gold sneakers this week. I keep randomly seeing them everywhere and I think it’s the universe telling me I should have a pair.  I don’t care if these are new, old, exclusive, cheap, or expensive.  I like what I like.

Photo: Nike

I will always love Air Max 90’s.  I always had a fresh all white pair in high school when I worked at Champs.  That discount was amazing.

Photo: Puma

I spotted these as I was walking in Soho today, and drooled outside the window of the store.

Photo: Instagram

These beauties came across my twitter feed late last week.  They’re simple in design and extravagant in color.  I love these, although I’m still annoyed that Yves Saint Laurent changed their name and logo to Saint Laurent.  I mean honestly, what purpose did that serve?

Fashion writers are notorious for making up new words and phrases, and I suppose I am falling in line with them with what I am calling Minimalist Glam.  This fashion genre is characterized by simple, classic silhouettes with clean lines, sleek hair, minimal jewelry, and super feminine footwear.  Small details like draping, and fun hem lines add to the glam to the look. Mel B. and Kim Kardashian are the queens of the Minimalist Glam look thus far and here are some of my favorite looks of theirs.

Photo: Pinterest

Photo: Pinterest

Photo: Pinterest

Photo: Pinterest

Photo: Instagram

Photo: Wire Image

The rapidly dropping temperature in the big city serves as an everyday reminder that cold weather is just around the corner.  So often my friends and family ask me how I weather the up north winters, and the truth is I layer up and it doesn’t bother me.  The only thing that makes me want to run home is the snow.  Snow is so romanticized in American culture via fairytales and Christmas carols, but the truth is the aftermath is a disgusting mess.  You find yourself submerging your entire calf muscle in puddles of dirty trash slush, and that I am not looking forward to.  I venture to say that Fall/Winter are the best seasons for fashion, because you wear more clothes, duh!  Scroll through to view some of my obsessions thus far for the cold months.

Capes

I’m here for capes in the form of both dresses and coats.  They are so elegant, chic, and classy.

Photo: L.A.M.B. via Shopbop

Photo: Givenchy via Net-A-Porter

Photo: Valentino via Farfetch

I remember hearing (ironically enough probably from Sex and the City) that in New York you are always either looking for an apartment, a boyfriend, or a job.  I find myself desperately searching for two of those things, and praying that the third will find me when the time is right.

I thought this was interesting art on the walls headed to the roof of The Standard.

So here’s the tea.  My landlord thought it would be a good idea to raise my rent by $200 per month; hence, I have to find a new place to live by September.  Retail is the absolute pits, but I’m making the best of it, and hoping to land something corporate soon.  I’m afraid that my writing career is suffering as a result of my retail job.  I have never been a very artsy fartsy person, but you really have to be in a certain head space to write, and to write well.  Truthfully, after a long day of being so “on” I want to come home and just get horizontal, but I know that no goals will be accomplished that way.

I have to say my first summer in New York has been a tad uneventful albeit pleasant.  Nothing to write home or here about.  Today I actually had an off day that was pretty cool.  I went running in Central Park, and I discovered the joy that is Uniqlo.  Later  we celebrated a friend’s birthday atop the Standard Hotel (where Beyonce filmed the video for “Rocket”) in the Meatpacking District, which is one of my favorite areas here.  The scenery was really nice overlooking the water, but the crowd left an awful lot to be desired.  I will say that the $6 banana and Nutella crepe made it more than worth the trip.  I think I may have a slight Nutella addiction, but hey the first step is to admit it.

Dress: Uniqlo Shoes: H&M Necklace: So old I don’t remember

I feel like I get on here and complain, and that’s not my intention at all, but this is therapeutic for me.  It gives me a chance to vent without running the risk of boring my friends to death.  I love this city honestly.  It’s dirty, smelly, and for the very wealthy, but I have never felt more like I belong.  Everyone that I meet here is working a job to fund their dreams just like I am.  I take comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in what my coworker calls this “beautiful struggle.”

Really dope artwork on the walls headed to the rooftop

There are those rare moments in ones life where you meet someone very casually.  You never have a very intense conversation, but that person impacts you greatly, and you develop an admiration for them from afar.  This happened to me when I met Erika Bearman AKA OscarPRGirl while interning at Oscar de la Renta.

The VP of the department I worked in invited myself and my intern partner to accompany her to a speaking engagement where she would be introducing Erika.  My intern partner, who has become one of my closest friends, and I shot each other a glance as to say “oh shit we get to meet her!”  Via her Instagram handle we had a mutual admiration for the Director of Communications for Oscar.  Living vicariously through her enviable closet, shiny job title, and Instagram photos, she seemed like a celebrity.  We had both seen her so many times gliding through the showroom in heels that made her even more the model she appeared to be.  At first glance I assumed she was one of the many fit models there for market week, but because she was actually clothed unlike the models, I should’ve known she was someone else.  She would flash a quick smile while hustling to dress a socialite or celebrity for a red carpet, but there was never any dialogue, because I dared not to speak. The VP of the department (who shall remain nameless here) introduced Erika, and she began giving the audience a brief overview of how she came to be OscarPRGirl.  I was a tad disappointed to find that she worked her way up in fashion via a meeting set up by her parents.  Fashion was never her initial goal, she told us, she had gotten a degree in Art History.  I’m always a little disheartened when I find out that people I admire in fashion didn’t struggle to get where they are.  It makes it seem like my goals are that much further away.  Not to say those people didn’t/don’t work hard or are undeserving, it just makes me wonder if anyone went through what I’m going through to start a career in this industry. She sat indian style in her Prada platforms, oversized navy pants with off the shoulder black shirt and talked very matter of factly.  She even told us about how Oscar teased her when she dyed her hair blonde, which was met with quite a bit of controversy in the office.

One thing she said stood out to me: if I have to slave away at something for the rest of my life, fashion is a pretty good way to go out.  I felt those words as if she had literally hit me with them.  That statement came at a point in time when my friend and I were feeling overworked and under appreciated and praying that it would all be worth it.  We had both been praying to get through the rest of the semester successfully, and those words gave us the second wind we needed to press on.  After taking time to answer questions, and then to pass out business cards and converse with the audience, my friend and I were left alone with her.  The team we worked for left to get drinks and told us to let Erika know where they were headed.  Perfect!  We have a reason to talk to her.  She was so pleasant.  Her grace, the way she carried herself, her confidence, her style, her advice all of those things stuck with me.  We never communicated beyond “hi how are you?” and casual pleasantries, and I am certain that if I ever saw her on the street she would have no idea who I am.  But I must admit that I feel privileged to have met her and to have observed her work ethic.  There are times when I am beyond tired and I just want to go to the safety of my southern home, but I always remember what she said that day in that auditorium and I push forward.

I finally made my way to the Charles James exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  After paying only $1 to get in, my friend and I concluded that this is why we pay such high rent to live in this city.  You have access to so much culture and the possibilities to broaden your view of the world are endless here.  The Met is one of my favorite places in the world, that could be in part because I haven’t traveled much, but regardless I love that place.  There’s something surreal and a little eerie about being in a room with things that are thousands of years old.  Just going through the Greek sculptures, and the Egyptian artifacts makes you wonder what kind of mark you’re leaving while you’re here.

The Charles James exhibit was amazing, and he was an amazing designer.  My love of classic fashion was renewed and even more solidified by seeing his many creations, and knowing that many of them would still be relevant today on the red carpet.  I’m not sure if it’s fair to say that as a fashion designer he was ahead of his time, because I think that his work seems to have transcended time.

PS I know some of the pics are really dark, but they don’t allow flash photography in the exhibit.  I wonder why that is.  What is the flash going to do to the garments?  Anyway though, enjoy!

I am so obsessed with the simplicity of single soled shoes.  They give your foot such a ladylike silhouette, and your stride such grace.  I still maintain that boot cut pants look great with platforms, but when you want to add a touch of femininity to a look, nothing beats a single soled shoe.  I especially love them with a pair of boyfriend jeans, or a pencil skirt.  Classic perfection.

One of my favorite style bloggers is UK based Soraya De Carvalho.  You can check out her blog here http://styleismything.blogspot.com.  Her style is so next level to me.  She never just looks dressed, she is always styled, which is evident in the details of her ensembles.  Oh and can we get into that great hair?  Here are some of my favorite looks from her, but there are so many more.  I encourage you to explore her site for outfit inspiration.  On a positive note in the midst of me applying for full time jobs, I was able to get something part time that I applied for months ago, so I’ll be posting more outfit pictures soon.

 “I know who I am. I love who I am. I like what I do, and I like how I do it. I like my mistakes and I like the pace at which I learn from my mistakes. I don’t want to be anybody else but me, and by knowing this, I want to continue figuring out who the f*ck I am.”

Zoe Saldana

I came across this quote via twitter and it really resonated with me.  Today I hit the pavement and went to Bloomingdale’s and Barney’s New York trying to pimp myself out to employers, but to no avail.  That’s the thing about applying for jobs online.  It takes away your ability to really sell yourself outside of your application.  So I figured I would go to the HR department after I submitted online applications, but didn’t get to speak with anyone.  I got to leave my resume with the concierge at Barney’s (she said with heavy sarcasm) but that was about it.

I treated myself to some Thai and a tasty crepe and headed home.  No sooner than I got in the house did a thunderstorm start, so I ate and took a great nap.  There’s something about when it rains here that makes me feel really lonely and super single.  I was almost relieved when I came across that quote, because it reminded me that that’s what I should be using this time for.  I keep thinking that I’m ready for a relationship, but I think I want to continue figuring out who the f*ck I am.  I’ve become almost frighteningly comfortable being alone, because of all the things I continue to learn about myself.  I can only hope that the person I’m supposed to be with will bring me out of that.

Use the “down time” in your life to get to know you and figure out who you are, because believe it or not you’re amazing.  The confidence that comes from being secure within yourself helps you not to settle for anything less than what you want in life as a whole.  The fear of being alone makes a lot of people settle for some unbelievable things, especially in relationships.  I’ve been there and it’s not fun.  Don’t be that person.