Do you remember being a little kid in the ’90s and seeing a woman who was serving looks, and saying to yourself “I’m gonna dress like that when I grow up”?  I had many a fantasy about wearing a waterfall updo hairstyle and Nike tennis skirts, but one look that endured was the slip dress.  Two instances stamped this underwear as outerwear moment in my mind.  The first was Cher Horowitz in the 1995 American treasure that is Clueless.  I don’t even trust people who were not inspired by the looks in that movie.  The second was Lil’ Kim in the 1996 music video for “I Can Love You.”  Then, my queen, Rihanna brought it back in vogue at 2012’s GQ Men of the Year party and honestly, she’s been killing the slip dress ever since.  Can we take a moment for her Fenty pop up look in New York this June?  Come on!

Photo: Instagram

I am back stateside after an amazing 4 days in Paris celebrating my 32nd birthday.  If you’re new to this site or to me, you should know I am weird about celebrating my birthdays.  I don’t freak out over getting older, in fact, I look forward to getting older because the opposite of getting older is dying and I ain’t ready for that.  No, I just don’t like planning grand or even simple celebrations for my birthday because I don’t like being responsible for other people’s fun, and the few times I tried going all out for my birthday some involved parties left me….let’s say disappointed.  I was very randomly inspired to visit Paris for my birthday this year, and after my best friend agreed to plan everything, we pulled the trigger.  I’m breaking my Paris recaps into three separate pieces: What I Wore, What We Did, and Where We Stayed.  Here’s what (Andy Cohen voice):

Last week it was announced that the 2019 CFDA Fashion Icon of the Year will be Jennifer Lopez, and I can’t believe anyone is arguing over this.  Let’s back up a bit.  The CFDA is the Council of Fashion Designers of America.  It is the governing body of American fashion designers and every year they host an awards ceremony for the best in, you guessed it, American fashion.  One of the most coveted awards of the night is the Fashion Icon of the Year Award.  Past winners include Rihanna, Beyoncé, and Naomi Campbell to name a few. 

Okay friends, it’s almost that time.  Time for us to judge A-list celebrities for their wardrobe choices at an event most of us will never attend.  That’s right, it’s almost time for the Met Gala, which takes place May 6, 2019.  Every year on the first Monday in May, this grand event takes place in New York City and most of the people judging from their couches and cubicles have zero idea what the Met Gala even is.  So, here’s your crash course from a girl who hopes to one day be invited to cover the red carpet and then be seated next to Michael B. Jordan at a black designer’s table.

Photo: Kaptured by Kiesha

Hello, I have found the pants I’m going to live in for the rest of my life.  If I get married, I’m wearing them in my wedding. If you get married, I’m wearing them to your wedding.  If there’s a sudden apocalyptic event, I hope my remains are mummified in these pants and the descriptive card at the museum in the future reads “Get into these pants doe!”

I love pantsuits!  I mean I really love them. We all know that dudes in suits are painfully appealing, but there’s also something incredibly alluring about a woman who can pull off a suit as well.  So why haven’t I ever worn one before?  I have been threatening to wear a sexy tuxedo to do literally anything for at least ten years, and never made it happen.  For one thing, I didn’t have anywhere particularly exciting to go that would justify the financial investment in such a look.  I’d love to be overdressed every day for no reason, but I just don’t have the lifestyle…yet.  The second reason is that my boobs were just way too big to execute the styling how I saw it in my head.  I couldn’t really fulfill my vision standing at 5’2 wearing an H cup.  

I have this thing about me where people perceive me to be very strong, and therefore impervious to insults.  There is a confidence in me that other people see that I am still learning to see for myself.  This perceived strength has somehow emboldened people to feel really comfortable saying things to me that are very painful, because it seems like I can take it.

On one such occasion a few years ago, one of my friends had recently been proposed to.  I took to Instagram to congratulate them with a post, like we tend to do these days.  I mean if it doesn’t make it to social media, then did it even really happen?  (Insert heavy sarcasm here).  This was one of like three separate, consecutive engagements.  After the age of 25 they seem to roll in one after the other.  Meanwhile I was in the midst of a serious love drought that has continued until this very day.  Seriously I think I may be going for some sort of record, but I digress.

Hello friends.  It’s been a minute, and much like your ex, I am dropping back in your life like nothing happened.  Can we chat about a few beauty and fashion things?  I’ll be brief.

Photo: Reggie LJ

When the Social Strategist known as Lil Uzi Vert was asked how he responds to critics of his fashion choices, calling them “feminine,” his response was perfect.  “You know what it is? They’ve never felt these fabrics before.”