A few things I’m thinking about today:
Why are the white women in my office always tired? Literally the second thing they say to me every day is, “I’m so tired.” If it’s around 3 PM, sure, we all hit that slump around then. But it is 10 AM. You’ve done nothing. We work in an office, wherein we sit and surf the internet most of the time, and have an unlimited supply of caffeine. What are you tired from? For fucks sake get an adequate amount of sleep and leave me alone.
Photo: Tre Thomas
Have you noticed that it is equally as difficult to find boyfriend jeans that fit as it is to find an actual boyfriend that fits? I can’t tell if the irony there is beautiful or tragic. If for some reason you are not familiar with the concept, boyfriend jeans are so named, because they should fit like the jeans you might borrow from your boyfriend: loose, relaxed fit, a little distressed, cuffed at the bottom. I first became obsessed with them via Kim Kardashian B.K. (before Kanye). I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how she found jeans with the right fit given the size of her butt. Well it’s because her thighs are not as big as her butt (no tea no shade).
Photo: Tre Thomas
When you have a big butt, and big thighs, a man’s jeans won’t really fit you the way boyfriend jeans theoretically should. Hell, even if you are a man with a big butt and big thighs a lot of men’s pants won’t fit you. I learned this one day when I was working at Ted Baker in the men’s suiting department, and a fine ass white dude who was a former football player couldn’t fit our pants. Apparently it’s a problem for a lot of guys with that kind of athletic build. Who knew dudes had those kinds of problems? But enough about them, we have our own problems. Am I right ladies?
Anyway. I set out on a year’s long journey to find actual boyfriend jeans that fit. I cannot tell you how many pairs I tried on that just made me look insane. They were huge in the waist, super fitted in the butt and thighs, and way too long to be cuffed. This was one of the great tragedies of my life. Excuse me as I weep. Well, I am happy to say I finally found a pair at Uniqlo. If you’re curvy, you’re going to have to accept that you’ll need to get these altered in the waist. There’s no way they can have the loose fit you want without also creating a huge gap in the waist. I; however, didn’t have time to get the waist taken in on these, so I paired them with this slouchy over-sized sweater to hide the gap. I do not recommend wearing flats with these as you’ll need the extra height to not look frumpy. I’ve seen it done with sneakers, but it’s not really a favorite look of mine. Because they’re relaxed and loose, I like to femme the look up with a heel.
Photo: Tre Thomas
Let’s Review:
Any questions?
Photo: Tre Thomas
Photo: Tre Thomas
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