My amazingly wonderful editor from StyleBlazer invited me to a panel discussion on diversity in media tonight at the New York Institute of Technology.  Wait.  Let me back up.  It was a whopping 1 degrees in New York tonight, 1.


The press reception began at 7 and the panel began at 8.  My editor and I agreed we would meet up at around 7:30.  Perf!  Well I have a piss poor sense of direction, which is a really bad trait to have in New York.  I got off the train at what I thought was the correct stop and realized that I was in Astoria, Queens.  The actual location is in Manhattan.  Here’s a map to show you just how wrong that is given that I live in Brooklyn.


Imagine my surprise when my GPS lead me straight to a diner.  I usually walk everywhere, because cab fare really adds up but it was just entirely too cold for life so I hopped in a cab and made it to the venue just in time for the panel intros.

The panel was amazing and I posed a question that literally got a round of applause from the audience.  I am very awkward and weird so I blushed immensely as the panel answered me.  (I will cover this in the next post).  Afterward my editor and I decided we need to catch up so I walked with her to the Whole Foods in Columbus Circle.  Let me just say this.  I freaking love Whole Foods, but I only go to the one in Union Square.  What I realized today is that any Whole Foods outside of your regular Whole Foods is like walking into Narnia or that weird portal that takes you to Hogwarts.  You don’t know where anything is and you look like an idiot holding your buffet food searching for the registers.  And the lines.  Why do we willingly wait in lines like refugees waiting for rations to pay for overpriced food?  Because Whole Foods is the shit that’s why.


Anyway though on to my point.  My editor is this amazing little curvy brownie (my pet name for brown skinned girls like me) that’s like a mentor in this fashion game.  (Imagine I said that with the voice of a young drug dealer who’s trying to get put on).  So we chat about lots of things.  On our quest to pay for her food she asked me with such sincerity, “why are you still single?”  That question haunts me like a pair of shoes I didn’t buy at a designer sample sale.  I have asked myself that question many times, and I finally know why.


I am brand loyal to a very specific type of ass hole guy.  If you are a kind of mean drinker that’s emotionally unavailable with an amazing sense of humor, a great smile, and built like a wide receiver, well hey I’m down.  Until I start liking guys that are actually good for me I will always be single.  This sucks for a few reasons.

  1. Of my best friends I am the only one that’s single and I stick out like a sore thumb.  Two are engaged, and one will be very soon we are all sure.
  2. The guy I have gone back and forth with for like three years revealed to me that he now has a girlfriend*  I always knew he wasn’t the one, but I took comfort in knowing that he would always be there as a safety to have someone to talk to.  When things failed to work out with others, I took a weird comfort in knowing I didn’t mind putting up with his shit in small doses so I could always go back to him.  I knew we would both get in relationships eventually and leave the other behind but I didn’t think I would be the one to get left behind.  I’m a better person than he is for crying out loud.  How dare the universe allow him to find love before me?!
  3. I’m 27.  Enough said.

*I am freakishly perceptive.  I pick up on everything even via text, so I know when something is afoot.  He only revealed this to me after I asked because I can peep tea like no other.

So there you have it.  I am not crazy.  I don’t have kids or incurable diseases.  There’s nothing really wrong with me other than the fact that I choose to fall for guys that are truly terribly wrong for me.  That’s really it.