Let’s just get one thing straight right now, self-care is a legitimate necessity in order to get through this thing called life in one piece. Kat Williams may or may not be all there, but he was preaching the gospel when he said you have to be in tune with your key fucking player, they key fucking player being you. The trouble with having human needs is that like most necessities, big business always finds a way to monetize them. Take water for example. It’s an actual need to sustain life, but water isn’t free, and some are paying a higher cost for it than others. What should be a means to restore oneself in the midst of a world that is constantly draining you in countless ways, is now being packaged and sold in the form of face masks and serums that promise a newer, better you. But if you are suffering from anxiety and depression, buying a face mask isn’t going to heal you. It may or may not fix the resulting puffiness under your eyes from lack of sleep due to your anxiety, but you can’t rely solely on topical solutions for underlying issues. That’s a fact that rings true even within the beauty industry, but that’s another conversation for another day. The truth is, taking care of yourself in real and lasting ways isn’t something you can pay your way into.
I hate attending fashion networking events. I also really hate being out on an overcast day in New York for any reason, but there I was on a cold Sunday afternoon pushing through anxiety and self-doubt to attend yet another networking event put on by yet another collective aimed at connecting Black people in fashion. I find this to be a very noble cause btw, but at some point you find yourself just going through the motions without much payoff. It’s like slipping back into sex with an ex. It may or may not get you somewhere, but you do it anyway, and kind of regret it afterwards. Am I the only one? Fine.
Someone asked me a little over a month ago how you know the difference between being sad and being depressed. I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I’m sad, I know the exact reason for it, and there are usually pretty clear steps I can and am able to take to soothe myself in a reasonable amount of time. Depression on the other hand, is like being held hostage inside my own body. I am aware of everything going on around me, but I can’t connect to anything, or anyone, and I can’t find the energy or motivation to move, mentally or physically. I’m sad for reasons that lie deep beneath the surface of the superficial inconveniences that life tends to present. It’s like being in a sunken place of my own creation. Last year I was more depressed than I realized. I was on auto pilot for much of the year, just going through the motions of my obligations, until one day I just shut down. I couldn’t get out of bed for days, except to shower and eat. And eat I did.
When the Social Strategist known as Lil Uzi Vert was asked how he responds to critics of his fashion choices, calling them “feminine,” his response was perfect. “You know what it is? They’ve never felt these fabrics before.”
I know I know, I’m late to this party. In my defense, there’s a lot of good tv to watch right now. But anyway, I finally got to catch up on the first three episodes of Grown-ish and I’m in love. First with the diverse, intersectional characters. Second, with the fashions. Third with the writing. Actually, the writing and the fashions are tied for me.
DISCLAIMER: This post is not to convince you to try Whole30, but to find something that you can realistically do to make better choices with how you eat, and how you take care of your body. Now, I have to tell you that I have tried multiple meal plans, diets, calorie counting, meal replacements, etc. and none of them proved to be sustainable given what I know about myself. This is what I found that worked for me, and I encourage you to find what works for you.
Something you should know about me, I have an unreasonably large amount of friends. I don’t mean homegirls/boys who I casually know. I mean I have a lot of legitimate friends whose parents know me, and who I could call at 3 AM from jail, and know that they would show up for me without question. Well, there would be questions, but not until the car ride home. I consider this a huge blessing, but this year it revealed itself to be a bit of crutch for me in terms of my business life.
We are smack dab in the middle of a resurgence of great Black film and television, and thank God btw. Once the itch for more Black stories was scratched with shows like Blackish and movies like Get Out and Girls Trip, we continued to thirst for more. So, it only made sense for a reboot of a Spike Lee joint to come forth in this era. The highly anticipated reboot of She’s Gotta Have It (originally released as a film in 1986) premiered on Netflix as a ten part series on Thursday. I watched the original for a refresher, and binged the ten episodes over the holiday break, and well, I have many thoughts. Let’s jump right in, shall we?