After a weekend spent with friends trying to reassure myself that I’m not a complete idiot and that I can in fact learn my job and be good at it, Monday rolled around.  I woke up that morning, read some affirmations and scriptures on being encouraged and said a prayer.  (I wake up every morning, and have a long chat with God as I’m getting dressed.)  I put on one of my absolute favorite black dresses, did my hair and makeup and bundled up to weather the cold both figuratively and literally.

As soon as I stepped into the building I felt an air of doom loom over me.  I sent my manager an email outlining all of her concerns and how we could fix them.  She responded by giving me a project that I definitely needed help completing.  My “training mentor” reluctantly answered a few of my questions.  Side note: don’t trust a girl that doesn’t do her hair.  I will spare you the details, but this turned out to be one of the worse days of my life for a few reasons.  Or maybe I’m not sparing the details, whatever.

1. No one would actually answer my questions the whole day.
2. I had a cross functional team meeting that I had no idea how to prepare for.  They ended up having said meeting without me unbeknownst to me.
3. I had a mild panic attack and sat in the bathroom for like 15 minutes trying to calm myself down.
4. I couldn’t eat, which is really saying something because I love to eat.
5. At the end of the day my manager called me in to her office and recited every question I had asked every person in the office that entire day.  They apparently had a secret meeting where they told her how much I sucked.  I was told that my questions were inappropriate for someone in their fifth week on the job.
6. The guy I thought I was talking to got completely ghost on me and hadn’t returned a single text or phone call the entire weekend and this continued for a week.  Why can’t guys just tell you when they’ve met a girl over the weekend with better edges and bigger booty?  Why?
7. My manager gave me four projects to do by the end of the week, but there was no way I could do them without any help.  And clearly no one in the department is willing to help me especially without snitching on me.

I went home that night a complete and total wreck.  Did I mention that the door to my place was frozen shut and I had to wait 30 minutes for my roommate to come back and let me in?  It was cold to say the very least.

I finally got in the house, showered, couldn’t eat, and went to bed with still no word from old dude.

Just as an aside I feel I should let you know that I truly despise cats, but this gif was fitting so there it is.  I do not have a cat, nor will I ever.  They give me the creeps and I refuse to fulfill certain stereotypes about single women and cats.