I stumbled into my dark house with tears welling up in my eyes. My purse dropped to the floor like there was an actual brick inside. I stripped off every piece of clothing I had on. My makeup stained sweatshirt was the first to go, and the tears were falling faster than I could wipe them away. By the time I made the short walk to the bathroom, there was a trail of personal effects that I couldn’t be bothered to clean up. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I turned on my shower and leaned against the tile until I saw the steam form. I tilted my head back, and stood there naked and exposed for the second time today while my makeup, my tears, my anxiety, my fear, my sadness, my everything ran down my body and down the drain. I looked at my white ceiling, and I wondered why can’t it be this simple? Today I faced my fear. I stood nose to nose with my fear, and I said take your best fucking shot. The fear of the not knowing is worse than the knowing, I thought. And so rejection came out and kicked my ass like Diamond in the conclusion of Player’s Club. Rejection tossed me around like a rag doll, and left me feeling insecure and alone. I tried to fight back. I will not go silently into the darkness. Not today bitch. But rejection said that’s cute girl and tossed me right back on the floor.