It has been a great season for black television, and I don’t mean BET. I mean black creatives in television are showing out and giving us amazing content we didn’t even know we were missing. I have already sung the praises of Atlanta, but now that Insecure has concluded its first season on HBO (and has been renewed for a second) I have to show major love. Insecure takes place in L.A. with the show’s protagonist Issa (played by the show’s Creator Issa Rae) going back and forth between the guy she’s with, and the guy she’s most attracted to (you know that one trash ass ex who reappears right when you’re happy) while also figuring out how to perform well at a job she’s not sure she should be doing. Her boyfriend Lawrence (played by the ever lovable Jay Ellis) is down on his luck and trying desperately to get it together, which puts an even greater strain on an already lackluster relationship that has kind of plateaued. Meanwhile, Issa’s best friend Molly (played by Yvonne Orji) is a successful lawyer with an amazing wardrobe who is climbing the legal (?) ladder, but whose love life looks like one long, endless Drake song. She has taken L after L in the relationship department, and discovers (through some tough love via Issa that she is actually the problem).
“Across cultures darker people suffer more. Why?” Remember when Andre 300 wore a jumpsuit baring those words during his Lollapalooza set in 2014, and everyone went crazy? Everyone except those of us who have been paying attention to life, because we knew that. The normalization of fairer skin is so pervasive that darker women of color can’t even buy the correct underwear. That’s right. Underwear. Every woman should have nude colored things in her wardrobe: nude pumps, nude bras, nude underwear, and nude body shapers. Say you want to wear a white shirt, or a very trendy sheer skirt. Yet, the color nude never seems to be nude for us. It’s most often a beige, with undertones that aren’t a match for those of us with more melanin. We quite often experience this lack of color when looking for makeup as well. I don’t even bother to try foundation from newer brands, because it takes them a while to figure out how to get our skin tones right. You’re out here trying to give your best beat, yet you actually look like a Gross sister.
But I digress. That’s another rant for another day.
Fortunately, some companies have taken notice of the fact that all nude underwear is not equal. Click through the gallery for some companies that have nude undergarments for all shades.
As much as I love a good party, I find my office Holiday party to be so stressful. I have a strict rule about not drinking with co-workers, because some white people tend to get way too damn comfortable at social functions when they’ve been drinking. All of a sudden they start sounding a little…Trumpy, and want to know how your hair feels. So then I feel compelled to drink from the top shelf open bar, because how else am I supposed to get through that? Hence, I focus my energy on deciding what to wear, and just hoping for best with everything else.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of testing out Rent the Runway’s Style Studio in SOHO, and it was delightful. Rent the Runway speaks to my soul as a fashion enthusiast who has neither a Sugar Daddy, nor a rich regular dad, nor a 6 figure salary (yet). This innovative brand combines luxury fashion with technology to make quality clothing accessible to a larger number of consumers (albeit for a brief rental period). The process of renting the runway is quite simple:
Chanel Iman shut it down in this metallic silver gown by Kaufman Franco at the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year Awards. Metallics aren’t only for New Years, baby showers (for some reason) or red carpets. You can always add some sparkle to your look with a metallic skirt or shoes. I personally love metallic gold sneakers.
Moonlight is by far one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Not just in the realm of black movies, but period. There was so much care taken to tell the layered story of a young black boy growing up in Miami, trying to understand his sexuality and survive, but without the exploitative factor. The movie stars Naomi Harris, (whose red carpet game is beyond notable) Trevante Rhodes, (one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen) and Mahershala Ali (one of my favorite actors). For once, the young black kid is not saved by a well-meaning white woman, in fact, there aren’t any visible white people in the entire film. There are no shoot outs, or gang violence, or hyper sexualized black bodies. There are moments of high emotional intensity, endearing characters, and a true, but careful exploration of a very specific, yet often occurring black experience. At its core, it is a love story. It is not the usual love story that comes with most movies, black or otherwise. Moonlight is the story of how all of the love we receive or don’t receive shapes who we really are.
Set in Miami, Moonlight is broken into three parts of the main character’s life: Little, Chiron, and Black. At each phase, he is trying to find himself and where he belongs in the world, in his world. We see the effects of the crack epidemic on black families, the fallout of the fragility of the black male ego and how it impacts their expressions of their sexuality, and the impact of kindness and mentor-ship. We see that every hero in a child’s life is not a perfect being, nor do they have to be to make a difference in that child’s life. We see that when boys are not allowed to cry, to explore, and/or express their feelings that, that suppression manifests itself in painful ways. There was so much care taken with this story to make sure the focus was where it should be, and that’s what gave it such depth.
Initially I was very taken aback by the fact that the theater in which I saw this film was filled with white people. I felt that weird embarrassment that some of us feel when the word nigga is used in mixed company. But the thing is, that’s who needs to see these stories the most. Our spirits are fed by seeing authentic depictions of black life, but their minds are. We are so often just preaching to the choir when we discuss the black experience amongst ourselves. Those conversations are necessary and beneficial within our circles, but for positive change to happen, it’s important for those outside of our community to see films like Moonlight, and to learn about what it means to be black in America. It’s important for others to see the world through our eyes, from our perspective, with our voice, without the unnecessary displays of black pain. Please go support this movie, and learn something about an experience that may differ from yours.
Let me preface this post by saying a few things. If you are healthy and happy with your weight, then great for you. This is not for you. This post is for those of us who want to drop a few pounds, and need to know what to wear while we are transitioning to healthier version of ourselves. I like being curvy. I do not like being overweight, and that I am according to both my doctor, and my pants. If you at any time feel that I am fat shaming, then send me an email and we can talk about it.
So now that we have that out of the way, I want to know if you’ve heard the good news about what to wear when you’ve gained weight, and haven’t figured out which lifestyle change is best for you. Lean in real close. The secret is this: buy bigger clothes. I don’t mean go all 90’s era rapper. I mean buy clothes that actually fit you. First and foremost you’ll be much more comfortable in clothes that fit as opposed to the ones you’ve squeezed yourself into. I remember seeing photos of myself on social and thinking hmmm I look a little bit like a tufted couch from Z Gallerie.
So, Fall finally showed up. A lot of people find Fall very draining to dress for, because you are dressing for two different temperatures in one day. Most likely it’s freezing in the morning when you leave your house for work, and by the time you head out for lunch, it’s hot. This is why it’s important to step up your layering game. You just add and take away layers as the temperature changes throughout the day (more on this in a later post). An essential layering piece for the season is a leather jacket. You’re welcome to get a faux leather jacket, but for the love of God please don’t choose faux leather that looks like a trash bag. Unless you want to look like Missy Elliot circa 1997. In which case, go right on ahead. You should also choose a leather jacket that is sufficiently lined. We like to dress for both function and fashion over here, so please don’t waste your money on a thin leather jacket that you’ll only be able to wear twice. Real or fake, a good leather jacket should have some weight to it so you don’t freeze when the sun goes down. I also love to layer a fur vest over my leather jacket. Fur and leather together is almost always a good idea. Here are some tips for buying a good faux leather jacket if that’s the route you want to take.
I stumbled into my dark house with tears welling up in my eyes. My purse dropped to the floor like there was an actual brick inside. I stripped off every piece of clothing I had on. My makeup stained sweatshirt was the first to go, and the tears were falling faster than I could wipe them away. By the time I made the short walk to the bathroom, there was a trail of personal effects that I couldn’t be bothered to clean up. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I turned on my shower and leaned against the tile until I saw the steam form. I tilted my head back, and stood there naked and exposed for the second time today while my makeup, my tears, my anxiety, my fear, my sadness, my everything ran down my body and down the drain. I looked at my white ceiling, and I wondered why can’t it be this simple? Today I faced my fear. I stood nose to nose with my fear, and I said take your best fucking shot. The fear of the not knowing is worse than the knowing, I thought. And so rejection came out and kicked my ass like Diamond in the conclusion of Player’s Club. Rejection tossed me around like a rag doll, and left me feeling insecure and alone. I tried to fight back. I will not go silently into the darkness. Not today bitch. But rejection said that’s cute girl and tossed me right back on the floor.
I have been style crushing on Rasheeda Frost (of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta) for a while now. I love anyone who can mix the high end with the low end, and she does so flawlessly. There’s something very alluring about a person who isn’t dressed in one designer from head to toe. I find that very lazy for some reason, especially when that designer has not cosigned you as their muse. For example, it makes perfect sense for Rihanna to wear Dior from head to toe, because she is the face of Dior, and I can only assume they are footing the bill for her looks. I am still annoyed; however, that Young Dro professes his affinity for Ralph Lauren often, yet Ralph will never acknowledge his existence. Rasheeda wears pieces from her own store Pressed, and pairs them with designer pieces. I have not visited her store, so I cannot attest to the quality of her products, but I love her Instagram style posts. I typically find the whole “I’m really into fashion” story line on reality television very played out. Every season of every reality show you can count on someone having a trash ass “clothing line” or opening a poor excuse for a boutique. Can we credit Sheree Whitfield as the pioneer of this now common farce? I can buy into Rasheeda’s plot line though, because the proof is in the post.
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